End of my tether

I never realised how lucky I was in the first eight months of working. I had supportive SHOs (okay, the first was a bit of a bully, but I didn't realise it til I did a mental retrospective analysis!), I acutally enjoyed what I was doing and genuinely felt I was making a difference.

But that is no more. I don't enjoy what I'm doing : its immensely frustrating trying to make referrals and being bounced from one person to another, being expected to do everything (just because I'm a house-officer and should), working as fast as I can without a break and still getting abuse from nurses (paeds nurses being the worst - they think their patients are the only ones we have to deal with), working two-three hours overtime and still forgetting some jobs (albeit minor ones), but only remembering when I've gotten home and am attempting to relax and forget about work.

On top of this, the people running the hospital accomodation feel they can move us at their whim. I've already moved three times since starting work in August. They want the F1's to move to "more suitable" accomodation (ie has a dishwasher and double bed). I am refusing to move as I have less than two months at work, I have all my worldly belongings with me (my fellow F1's have homes in this country, unlike myself), I find moving rather traumatic and this is my home and I don't see why new-comer's can't be made to move. In return I have been threatened by the accomodation people with redundancy. Nice.

I've had enough of this. The only thing keeping my from breaking is the fact that I only have to hold out for 4 more days, and then I can escape for two weeks. I just hope the final straw does not come soon.

Addendum: I am back after my holiday. It has soothed my frazzeled nerves and left me at peace. So much so, I didn't want to leave: two nights before I was due to return, I started having nightmares about my awful SHO! But I'm back, and happy - in part due to the fact that my SHO is on leave (he doesn't do anything, but still gets paid and goes on holiday like the rest of us). I'm on nights from next friday - hope he doesn't return til then.