In Praise of Mediocrity

What is it with my profession?

Its not good enough that we, as individuals, have made all efforts to take up a career that alters the way we live our lives: 9 to 5 is never possible (no matter what the specialty) and no matter how you try there are still times that the job comes home with you mentally.

Medicine is never just a job. It is a way of life.

How have you shown your dedication to your dedicated profession? Have you spent most of your time 'networking' and doing countless audits and researching on this that and the other? No? All you've done is try your very best to be a "good doctor". I'm sorry, thats not enough.

Then to add to this, we are expected to excel at our chosen hobbies. One cannot play an instrument for pleasure - one has to be in an orchestra. You like sport? Are you in a national or at the very least local team? No? Oh well then, thats not good enough.

What is wrong with mediocrity? Why am I made to feel inadequate that simply enjoying various activities is not enough; that if you are not the best, you are not good enough.

I've never excelled at exams - but I have passed them all first try (well, all but one - but passed that the second time around). I'm not sporty, but I swim - to de-stress and relax. I enjoy literature and would love to do an additional degree - but my work comes first and at the moment that is not compatible.

And work? I love what I do. I cannot imagine doing anything else. The more I think about it, the more I want to specialise in palliative medicine - I feel that I can make the last days/months/ years of a person's life more bearable. Unlike some of my colleagues, I am not interested in making money (there goes working with pharmaceutical companies) or a different career.

My life revolves around work - and that is my fault and my weakness.
Maybe if I had spent more time cultivating a life outside medicine, I wouldn't care, or at the very least I wouldn't feel the way I do now.

Inadequate.

Its not a good feeling.